1.06: Dr. Nobel

Zoe: Stupid boring, quiet boring, one horse boring town. Why do I have to spend my Saturday volunteering?
Jack: Oh, you're not volunteering. It's called community service and you wouldn't be doing it if you didn't pull the firealarm during your IQ test.
Zoe: I wouldn't be doing it if you hadn't arrested me.

Henry: What did you do to get put down here?
Fargo: I earned it. Having your own office is a right of passage. It's a symbol of status and rank.
Spencer: Yeah. Rank's the word alright. It smells like something died in here. Like, say the 1970s.

Eugenia: What kind of a name is Zoe, anyway?
Zoe: It's a popular one. You know, probably as popular as Eugenia was back in the Great Depression.

Jack: Which one of your guys is responsible for the Cuban missile crisis popping up all over town?
Nathan: They're not missiles.
Jack: Really? Cause I have got a town of extremely anxious people who think they look a lot like missiles.
Allison: What are they, Nathan?
Jack: And why do they look a lot like missiles?

Jack: Okay, this ion beam thingie, that's what exactly?
Henry: Iradiated uranium isotopes.
Jack: Oh, a death-ray. Why don't you just say death-ray?

Jack: Could you try turning it off?
Nathan: Oh, why didn't I think of that? Fargo, turn the machine off.
Jack: Oh, and that's a stupid question? I mean, you did just turn it on, right?

Jack: We're not panicking, we're reacting. You say death-ray, we have a reaction.
Nathan: You said death-ray.
Jack: It's a ray, right. It causes immediate death.
Nathan: Yes. Could cause immediate death. It could simply blow up and people here would immediately die. It could strike Moscow and people there would immediately die. Then Moscow would retaliate and people everywhere would immediately die. Evacuation's moot. No place is safe.

Jack: If scientist's are so smart how come they know anything about penmanship?

Henry: You are the detective.
Jack: Marshall.
Henry: Sherriff.
Jack: That sounds like a demotion.

Dr. Thatcher: The question remains - fusion or fission. Fishing? Certainly not. I haven't been fishing since I lived on Lake Eerie. You think that's eerie? How do you explain quasar energy paradox? Or baldness among musicians?

Dr. Thatcher: Reverse the hex.
Henry: Excuse me?
Dr. Thatcher: If you want sex, reverse the hex.
Nathan: Sherriff, at any point when you picked him up, the car ride, the long walk down here, happen to notice that this guy's not all there?
Jack: Yeah, there may have been signs.

Vincent: I heard it was a death ray.
Jack: That's ridiculous. That's obviously a rumour.
Allison: Started by an idiot.

Nathan: Absolutely not. That technology is highly experimental and far too dangerous for anyone to - Carter? Really? Well, that's a risk we just may have to take.

Allison: Bad news, good news. We didn't get anything from Thatcher, but Carter wasn't hurt in the process.
Nathan: Any good news?

Jack: Gonna need to borrow your Nobel. (smashes glass case)
Nathan: It was open.
Jack: Oh, sorry.
Nathan: What in the hell are you doing?
Jack: Oh, we're going to party like it's 1962.
Nathan: I miss Sherriff Cobb.

Nathan: So, Sherriff. When the lightbult goes off in your head, what are we talking? Fifteen, twenty watts?

Nathan: Good point.
Jack: Really?