1.11: H.O.U.S.E. Rules

Jack: And the next time one of your brainiacs tries to blow up your building, I don't think I'm gonna stop them. In fact, I'm gonna help.

Jack: It's a sick day.
S.A.R.A.H.: Your vital signs seem normal, Sherriff. I don't detect that you're sick.
Jack: But I am sick. I'm sick of saving a man that I can't stand. I'm sick of nobody saying thank you. And I'm sick of this ridiculous town and everyone in it.

Taggart: We never discussed grenades.
Jo: War is hell, my defeated foe.

S.A.R.A.H.: I fail to see the wisdom in consuming pizza after cereal and beer.
Jack: Will you stop nagging me, woman.

Jo: You've got a regiment of splatter bots ready to assault my rear flank.
Taggart: You'll know when I assault your rear flank.

Henry: I mean Fargo turns a relic of war into something beautiful and life affirming and then actually gets chastised because it's actually trying to help us avert disaster.
Nathan: He got chastised because it's holding us hostage.

Fargo: When I'm stressed my subtext comes out as text.
Jack: Fargo, do you want me to duct tape shut your mouth?

Fargo: The overriding concept behind a Smarthouse is to bond with its owner.
Jack: Oh, yeah? Bad house! Bad!
Beverly: Sheriff, I don't see how shaming your house can possibly help.

Beverly: Looks like the men are trying to save us. We may be here for a while.

Taggart: Though the female of the species proved to be much more clever than the male.
Jo: Just like humans.

Jack: In a town full of supergeniuses, why is it that the pizza guy is the only guy with the presence of mind to walk out the door?

Henry: I'm leaving Eureka because I'm tired of seeing noble ideas being turned into weapons and here we are, here we are at the mercy of a weapon that had been turned into a noble idea.

Nathan: (to Henry) How can someone with such a high IQ be so clueless?

Nathan: (to Henry) Idealists don't get much done without a few pragmatists running interference for them. So get off your moral high horse.

Taggart: If I'm right this leads directly to the Smarthouse.
Jo: And if you're wrong?
Taggart: I'll release an unending torrent of raw sewage upon us.

Taggart: (about Jo) And a beauty she is.

Nathan: Crack pipe.
Jack: Crack pipe. Two words I never thought I'd hear from your mouth.