2.04: Games People Play

Abby: S.A.R.A.H., forgive me if I don't feel the need to justify my parental choices to a talking bunker.
S.A.R.A.H.: Fine. Don't let the door hit you on the way -
Abby: You want a piece of me?
Jack: Are you threating the house?

Abby: I just don't want you to do that thing that you do, you know, where you say you're okay with something and then six months after that we're at my parents fiftieth wedding anniversary and you've had one beer too many and you ask my Mom if the ballbuster gene comes from her side of the family.

Jack: Hey, I talking to you here.
Zoe: Hey, I'm getting my head shrunk here.

Jack: Have you seen Jo?
Vincent: Who?
Jack: My deputy.
Vincent: Oh, you got a new Deputy. That's great.
Jack: I didn't get a new Deputy, I have a Deputy. Deputy Jo Lupo.
Vincent: Oh. Is he cute?

Jack: I have a Deputy named Jo Lupo. Small but surprisingly strong. A bit of a gun nut.

Henry: Do you remember Occam's Razor?
Jack: Uh, yeah. Simple things are true.
Henry: Close enough. So you are either part of some theoretical, unknown, scientific discovery where people vanish from our world and memories. Or, you suffered a head trauma.
Jack: Well, when you say it like that.

Jack: What's he even doing here?
Allison: He works here.
Jack: He was fired weeks ago.
Nathan: ... Okay, brain scan it is!

Jack: (to Fargo) You know what else should be classified? A certain assistant's American Idol audition.

Jack: You know, I was really starting to worry if it was something to do with me.
Henry: Well, that's where the smart money still is.

Nathan: (to Jack) And now you're just putting words together.

Nathan: I have a lot of friends.
Jack: Actually, not so much, but we'll table that.

Jack: If you don't show it to me, there might not be anyone left to tell.
Fargo: I have no idea what that means.

Jack: Where'd you put it? The machine with the lights and swirling.
Dr. Babajanean: Could you be little more vague?

Jack: Nathan Stark. The ego-maniacal bane of my existence.

Allison: The only way to fix the problem is to recognise that you have one.
Jack: What is that - AA?

Abby: What are you all doing here?
Vincent: We're here for Carter and Zoe.
Abby: All of you?
Vincent: Well, yeah. I mean, he's our Sherriff and she's our girl.

Jack: Apparently I have abandonment, entitlement and intimacy issues.
Henry: Ah, congratulations!
Jack: Thank you.

S.A.R.A.H.: Good evening, Sherriff Carter. Will the former Mrs. Carter be joining you for dinner?
Jack: Oh relax, Sarah, she's gone.
S.A.R.A.H.: What a shame.
Jack: Sarcasm doesn't become you.

Jack: (to Zoe about Abby) Oh, she seems to think that I need adult supervision.