2.05: Duck, Duck, Goose

Zoe: Well, it's not like I'm going to pick up guys and head for Vegas.
Jack: Okay, now you can never get a car of your own.

Jo: Teens with unlimited access to terrifying technology. It's armaggedon with acne.

Vincent: She's just a little insecure about her IQ test.
Jack: What IQ test?
Jo: Do you two even talk?

Jack: (about his IQ test) I got 111. I didn't even try and I got over a hundred percent.

Jack: I love excercise. Just mmm. Pump time. Find my centre. Clean my chi.

Jack: Jo made it seem like the sky was falling.
Nathan: That hasn't happened since 2004, and that was more of an igniting of the ionosphere.

Henry: Take it to the N.E.A.T. labs at GD.
Jack: Oh, they're all neat to me.
Henry: No, Near Earth Asteroid Tracking.

S.A.R.A.H.: Come on, Sherriff. We never go anywhere together. It'll be an adventure!

Taggart: They need to spread their wings. Leave home. It's not normal for them to stay with their Momma.
Jack: You mean Poppa.
Taggart: Momma.
Jack: Poppa.
Taggart: Momma. In the animal kingdom, the male of the species is generally useless at childrearing. No talent for it whatsoever.

Jane Harrington: Did you get the registration notice I sent to your office?
Jack: Jo opens all the mail. She... She's so mean.

Dr. Finn: It's not a ray gun.

Jack: Shouldn't we call NORAD or something?
Allison: Are you kidding? NORAD calls us.

Jack: (to Taggart) I don't know whether to be disturbed or relieved.

Henry: So that just leaves...
Jack: Aliens?
Henry: No, Jack. Us.
Jack: Or aliens.

Jack: Area 51 is real?
Henry: (nodding) No.

Jack: Congratulations on the Science Fair win.
Dr. Finn: Well that was twenty years ago but okay.

Jo: Hey, where I come from we respect our parents. Especially if they carry a gun.

Megan: I don't know why it went all Magneto in there.

Megan: You shot my energy beam through a magnetostatic arrah. Mom, duh!

Nathan: Well, we got everyone in the auditorium, and the Deputy has yet to use her tazer.
Allison: Thank god for small favours.

Megan: (about Zoe) She has no idea what she did. She's like that one monkey who just happens to type Shakespeare.

Jack: You were robbed.
Zoe: Yeah, an internship? Please. Totally dodged that bullet.

Taggart: Yeah, shoulda trusted them more. They're gonna get lost, sure. Lose their bearings for a bit. But that's how they'll learn.