Zane: And can't we just agree that the war on drugs is really a moralistic assault on individual liberty?
Jack: Woah. Twenty five thousand for this guy?
Zane: For thirty I'll throw in dinner and a movie, but I won't go past second base. I'm not that kind of boy.
Zane: (to Jo) Obsession with firearms can be a sign of unfulfilled sexual appetite. I'm not saying that's you, but if it is I'm at your service.
Zane: Who you calling 'kid', Spartacus?
Nathan: Ooh, cocky. I like him.
Jack: You would.
Jack: I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but won't that blow up the planet?
Nathan: Wow, we didn't think of that. Good thing you're here, Carter.
Allison: Well, those self-esteem classes are really helping out, Nathan.
Jack: Hey, Vince. Give me two breast all wet... Uh, just chicken on a plate. Two chickens on a plate.
Zane: (to Jack) When you eat that chicken, you're eating all that hate.
Delivery Guy: (to Jo) I got nineteen boxes from Liza's Lingerie... and can I just say, god bless.
Zane: I had to guess the size. You should really try everything on. I'll make popcorn.
Jack: People are regressing. They're starting to act dumb.
Jack: Yeah, so what's protocall? What do we do?
Nathan: Only one thing we can do... Pull my finger.
Jo: Carter, you can't catch stupid.
Zane: This may be my favourite conversation of all time.
Jo: We don't always fix it. Henry does it sometimes, or Stark, or Allison. I'm just saying we usually have smart people to lean on.
Jack: Hey, I'm smart. I'm plenty smart!
Jo: I mean science-smart. Don't get snappy.
Jack: How you feeling? You feel dumb?
Jo: No. You?
Zane: How could you tell?
Allison: You okay?
Nathan: Not even... I can't keep a thought in my head for like ten seconds. My car's busted. Nothing to do to. It's bunk.
Allison: Still the smartest guy I know.
Nathan: Not saying much.
Allison: What if this doesn't get better?
Nathan: I guess we'll just be dumb together!
Henry: (to Zane) I have not a clue about anything you just said! ... I'm sorry, Jack. I just realised this is how you must feel all the time.
Henry: You're a real good friend, Jack. I just - I just feel bad cause I keep things from you.
Jack: Henry, what are you talking about?
Henry: The Beverly stuff. You know... what she did to Kim.
Jack: Henry, what did Beverly do to Kim?
Henry: Maybe you could find out. I mean you're really good at that stuff.
Carol Taylor: Where do you think chicken comes from, Sherriff?
Jack: From chickens.
Carol Taylor: Chickens that have been murdered. But not anymore. The avian holocaust is over, my friend.
Jack: (to Zoe) Honey, people use labels to make their life easier. You know, which is fine. But you define who you are.