Lorraine's Fan-Fiction Recommendations

♥ = absolute favourites
‡ = newly added recs

THE ONES WHERE THEY MEET BEFORE ATLANTIS
Fighting Falcon
"He wakes up enough to realize that John's going to leave. He finds that he doesn't like the thought of never seeing John again, but he's not sure what to say."

The Group-W Bench
"Major John Sheppard." He didn't offer his hand. "I fucked up and a lot of people died. I'm being sent—well, either home or to Antarctica. I'd prefer Antarctica."

Intersections
"John's Antarctica is miles and miles of emptiness flitting beneath him and no one sitting beside him. It's nothing like Afghanistan at all."

THE ONES ON ATLANTIS
10,000 Pieces
“He knew what Rodney pretended to be. He knew the face Rodney showed to the world. What he didn't know was the rest of it, the missing pieces; why Rodney had kissed him back. How Rodney felt. Who Rodney really was, under it all.”

17.5: a love story
"Okay," John said. "Being a giant lameass and a pussy about the possibility of someone actually liking you is some brilliant problem solving."

Acidimia
"An excellent runner," the Wraith says, amused, and John feels his voice shred and break as something cold and metal, alien and unwanted, is pushed past skin and muscle and bone to nestle in his back."

Actus Reus
"John gave a subtle nod to Chuck to submit the last document and raised his bound hands. “Well, Sir,” he said, “it turns out I’m kinda gay.”"

Ancient Zombies, Brotherly Love, and Other Strange Tales ♥ ♥
"McKay," he says, slowly, voice nearly identical to the one he'd used on Elizabeth in the Puddle Jumper eleven days before. "Incest is taboo to avoid the possibility of mutant babies. Are you planning on having my mutant babies?"

Artistry in Chaos
"“Was that not what you wanted to hear? I can do better: oh please, Colonel don’t leave me. I don’t know what I’ll do without you to make me feel guilty every time I have the coveted pleasure of your dick in my hand.” Rodney crosses his arms defiantly. "

The Atlantis Local Stich'n'Bitch Chapter
"John Sheppard lounging with what had to be a dozen female Atlantis personnel, laughing and chatting. His hair was messier than usual and he was dressed down, in a black t-shirt and jeans and there was no thigh holster--Rodney observed with a little note of regret--and he was wearing sneakers. Also, he was helping them make balls of yarn and eating banana pudding."

Bang ♥ ♥
"John slumps against his seat, glaring down at his yellow legal pad, filled with notes like, KILL MCKAY and MAKE LORNE DO THIS and FAKE STOMACH FLU and FIND NEW NEARLY-INSURMOUNTABLE FOE IN PEGASUS."

The Bitch-Slapping Tao of Rodney McKay
"... which was horrendous, of course," Rodney's saying as they step into a transporter. "Oh, and that was before I took the opportunity of bitch-slapping Chaya, anyway, you want something from the mess?"

Care in the Holding
"Besides, the rumours don’t really bother him—not nearly as much as they probably should—and he thinks maybe it’s because it’s kind of funny that people think Sheppard would be so careless with his career."

Cleave
"I couldn't live with it," Rodney said. "You have to stop coming closer." He took a step back as Sheppard took a step forward. "No really, you have to stop, because I couldn't live with it if you--if I--" Choked; he was choked and out of words.

Click
"He heard John's goodbye, heard his last words, the switch within reach, and nothing, not John's order or Jennifer's plea could stop him from doing what he knew would save John."

Concussions from Butterflies
“What are you doing, having blackouts wherein you tell me you love me and then promptly forget? I don’t understand, what is wrong with you? Do you have the recall of a goldfish; do you recycle your memory every thirty seconds?”

Contrast
"You make me stupid -- it's kind of traumatizing, actually -- but you slink into the lab and I lose my goddamn mind."

Coping Mechanisms
"I need some parameters. I need to understand because you're all over the map. When I agreed that we should be friends, although I'm pretty sure I was very high when we had that conversation, because usually I have more fight in me than that, I thought I knew what the definition of friendship was."

Could Be Raining
"Right, exactly!" Rodney agrees, raising his head obligingly as his shoulder rolls back to rest against John's chest. "After however many hundred rounds of repeatedly surviving things I really thought were going to kill us, I have somehow turned into someone who can look on the bright side of cave-ins and rock slides. There is something seriously wrong with that. I blame you."

Disambiguation & Clarity
"Rodney kissed like it was the only thing in the world, which really didn't compute for John, because conventional wisdom suggested that Rodney multi-tasked in his sleep. But Rodney kissed like he had all the time in the world and like there wasn't one thing he'd rather be doing."

Distraction
"Rodney presses his lips to John’s forehead and thinks about how close they are to crossing the line. When John whimpers in his sleep, Rodney pulls him tighter and murmurs in his ear. By the time he falls asleep, he’s almost managed to convince himself this is what friends do."

Don't Tell
"So--you want to marry me because I put out?"

Eternal Sunshine
"John grinned at him and Rodney thought with a jolt that he had the same easy smile like Sheppard. Well, clearly, he was still him. Just this John was more the him before Rodney made an error and disintegrated a bit of a solar system -- one that nobody was using anyway! And he’d apologised as best as he could. Profusely even! -- Not the one who had alternately ignored and stalked him since then."

Exceptionally Vivid
"It's actually an interesting question: why won't Sheppard admit that he's a hallucination? There's no point in asking Sheppard, though, since he's the source of the problem and will just deny his non-real status until they're rescued."

Face Value
"Also, somehow having proof that people fell for Sheppard's hero persona grated on his nerves. Because yes, he had a bit of a thing for Sheppard himself, and he didn't like the sensation of being one of a crowd, as if the feelings that had blindsided him a few months ago were nothing more than a common crush."

First Impressions
"He rolled over in the night, and nestled up behind Rodney, fitting their knees together, twisting his hand in Rodney's t-shirt, right over his heart. He can see the back of Rodney's neck, the curve of his shoulder, and he's got this - this feeling. One he hasn't had in a while, or else he's had it all along."

The First Pressing
"“I want you, want this,” John says, and it’s the first time he’s ever said it, first time he’s ever looked Rodney in the face when they’ve done this, and he sees understanding settle into Rodney’s eyes, and he nods, pulling the thin strings at the neck of his shirt."

Forget Me Not
"There is something very unnatural about the rapid stream of words coming from John's mouth, and something more unnatural still about John's hesitant, diffident manner. Rodney wonders if it's a side effect of Treatment, if John was so violent before that eliminating those facets of his personality has changed him in some very fundamental manner, so much that even Rodney can tell."

Fragments
"John doesn't smile with his mouth. Not often, anyway, but if you look just right, his eyes will crinkle into lines that have nothing to do with pain or fear, tilting at the corners into something no blindingly toothy smile can ever truly match."

Freedom's Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose ♥ ♥ ♥
"Every spring, the Physics department holds a game of paintball: physics professors versus physics majors. Rodney pleads illness, allergies, bad temper, and overwork, until Dr. Vail makes it clear that attendance is mandatory. It is the first year the professors win since 1994. Afterwards, he washes his hands fifteen times a day for a week, trying to scrub off the bright red flecks of dye that spatter them."
For any Sheppard/McKay fan, this is THE fic. I'm pretty sure it's widely agreed that this is the best piece of work in the fandom. Effusive, yes, but also totally true. If you read only one thing, it should be this.

Gravel Road
"1. You are theoretically in love with John Sheppard."

Gravity
"From the day Rodney's path crossed with John's in Antarctica, their trajectories have never been truly independent. Even when they have swung far apart their orbits have each been determined by the other's, a binary system."

Hang on Tight
"There’s a lot more between us than... Oh. Is there? There isn’t, that’s what you’re saying. You’re saying there’s what people already know and there’s the sex and there’s nothing else, that’s exactly what you’re saying, and all along I thought, I thought, okay, I was wrong."

Happily Ever After
"Rodney looked like he was starting to believe the whole soul-mate thing, and didn't like it one bit. "But finding someone who loves me, that could take--" he waved his hands, "months. Years! What are the odds that anyone on the expedition would want to marry me!"

Here Goes Nothing
"Ah, well, Rodney had not factored that in at all. He might have fucked up a bit and made his, hum, Declaration Of Interest totally counterproductive."

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
"Maybe it was just because this was a wedding, and that was what you did at weddings, even ones where you were marrying your gay best friend to save him from the poisoned pot brownie he'd eaten."

I Am Your Image Dressed as the World
"John closed his eyes. He was crazy. All these months and months alone in the jumper had driven him crazy. "I'm so tired," he said, without opening his eyes. "I miss everybody so much. And now I've let them down."

I Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier
"They didn't get married; John had still been military, after all, and Rodney had no use for any institution that forced him to mix his money with someone else's, but Teyla had brought them the rings and something in Rodney's face softened when John uncurled his fingers and showed the rings to him, glittering on John's palm."

I'm With Genius
"But I meant in terms of whether or not you can be fired for succumbing to my many charms, this is good. I mean, bad for you, because you have to write the email version of the talk we all got from our dads when we were 13, and really, who wants to relive that, but, but I think it's a net gain."

An Inaccurate Telling
“Rodney had no doubts all of Atlantis thought he and John were dating, which apparently they were, except no one had bothered to tell Rodney.”

Indelible
"John was good at selective memory. There was already so much that he chose not to think about, and not just things that had happened since they'd come to Atlantis. Some memories were razorblades: likely to cut you up if you handled them too much. But too much understanding could make it impossible to set boundaries."

Just Breathe (The Artifact of Vision Remix)
"Oh, God. He was still looking at Rodney, his eyes focused and intense. Like he knew. Like he'd read it all on Rodney's face. Like he'd felt it in the touch of Rodney's mouth, and crap."

Just You
"Because you'd have been the better option? How to Go to Another Galaxy and Get Played by Every Woman Imaginable, All While Liking Cock, Cock, Cock."

Last Man Reshuffle
"John realized he was staring. He clenched his eyes shut, trying not to freak out. He decided to just run with this for now because (a) those looked like really nice boards and if he was going to be insane, why not have it last long enough that he could try them out; and (b) even if this was some hallucination brought on by a high-grade fever or insanity, Rodney wasn’t dead, and putting up with lots of crazy was worth having Rodney alive for as long as the crazy let him."
One of the most believably fucked up John Sheppard characterisations I've come across.

Last Place You Look
""You like it when I do this, right?" John asks, weeks later, pressing his thumb into a little purple oval on Rodney's bicep. It's not like him to ask, so Rodney takes his attention off of humping his dick against John's hairy thigh to look him in the face. Sheppard looks honestly unsure. "Yes," Rodney says slowly, the way he would to a child or an anthropologist."

Life Lessons Learned from Aliens
"Rodney was definitely not going to think about what two John Sheppards would look like together, with their identical pouts and crooked noses and hedgehog hair. No, it was crazy to think that, because either Rodney was seeing Teyla as Sheppard due to a malfunction, or he was sick in the head."

Linguistics
"John pushes into him with the patience of drifting continents, and Rodney's thinking vaguely about fault lines and sinking when John makes a sound low in his chest."

Logopetria & Eloquence
“John watched in horrified fascination as Rodney literally choked on his words, strangely-shaped objects spilling from his mouth in utter silence except for his coughing and ragged breath.”

A Long Gold Sliding into Dawn
"Rodney breathes out, rough and exasperated. John thinks he might be the only one in the universe who can hear the tenderness contained in Rodney's murmured "you are so fucked in the head"."

Might as Well Live
"Rodney was looking at him, blinking rapidly, the way he did when he was processing new information, and as John heard his own voice fade away to silence, he realized he'd said more of that out loud than he'd intended to. Possibly all of it."

Mostly Dead
"Oh god," Rodney chokes out, sounding half embarrassed and half angry, "Is that it? Is that why you're so pissed? Because you found, found porn? I can't believe you, I can't believe that I died and then came back from the dead and you're upset because of this."

Nobel Deeds
"I don't even know what you're doing here," he adds; helpless, baffled, because he thought he was doing okay. He thought he was over this, this thing where he misses Atlantis and its people, Sheppard, so much it feels like he's missing a lung, like he's suffocating without them."

Nondisclosure Agreement
"People have been trying to pigeonhole John for his entire life. It's like they take one look at him and assign him to one of the boxes, one of the labels, and everything he does that doesn't fit that perception is strange and alien and out of character."

Not a Victory March
"He'd touched John so slowly Antarctic glaciers were probably melting faster. But he'd had to, because this was John and he needed John to know how important he was, how much he mattered, and the best way to tell John anything was to show him."

Number 51
“He looks sleepy, tired in that way he does when he’s had a hard day, but there’s a certain softness in his eyes, a certain glow when he meets Rodney’s gaze, and that’s Number 50 right there.”

Of Polar Bears
"I learned that Dr. McKay wants to fuck me, Rodney imagines wildly. I learned that I should never turn my back on him, or my front, or any body part at all, because he's got a large catalog of ways that he'd like to fuck me. It's really very detailed. I don't understand how he has time to fix the city after coming up with all of that."

Of Two Hours
“Major Sheppard turns a little pale. He swallows once, quickly, and Radek can hear his denials before he even opens his mouth.”

OK Computer
"In the end, he had to admit to himself that he liked to jerk off while watching John Sheppard be manhandled by lesbians, but, put that way, it sounded all right. Because honestly, who wouldn't want that? Rodney could imagine an entire cable television empire founded on a solid gold premise like that."

The Ones You Leave Behind
"You asshole!" Rodney exploded at him. "How the hell could you be so stupid that you let someone grab you? Didn't you learn anything from Ronon and Teyla? Why did you let them beat you up for five years, if you're too fucking dense to absorb anything?"

The Price That Life Exacts
"At first, his brain can't even categorize, let alone identify, what he's holding. It's like a sucker punch to the gut when he gets it, sharp and out of nowhere, and he doesn't even hear his own gasp, only senses it after the fact. Because what he's got curled in his shaking hand, cold against his palm, are Sheppard's dog tags."

Proxy & Prompt
"No, he would have to find other ways to give Rodney his dozen kisses; the dozen kisses John gave him every day, even if Rodney never realized it."

The Ratio of Burning
"Rodney is more efficient now. It's amazing what he can accomplish without wasting time for a personality."

The Return to Normalcy
"It's touching and creepy and frightening and John looks at the house again because Rodney is willing to give up Area 51 for him if it meant he felt at home once more. It's the most anyone's ever offered him without wanting something back, and he feels a little warmth inside his lungs and down his spine at the prospect."

Rewind, Reboot, Restore
"Is that a Hitchhiker's reference? It is, isn't it? Have you been using comedy science fiction as your field guide to interpersonal relationships? My God, you have." He paused, then said, "Actually, a lot of things about you make much more sense in light of that."

The Scientific Method
"Rodney dropped his hand. "You really don't... How can you not... That was..." He swallowed hard. Then, with his most determined expression: "Congratulations, Colonel, I suspect you've just managed to be the first person in history to have an accidental orgy."

Sexual Healing
“You’ve tried every possible way of having sex with me? Well, you must not have been doing it correctly, because I haven’t noticed.”

Sheppard's Law
"It wasn't fair; most people only got held to regular U.S. law, where you couldn't be tried for things you hadn't done yet. It was just his luck that he was being tried by the laws of theoretical physics, where you were accountable for everything you did in two galaxies and ten dimensions."

Six Improbable Weddings (and one that was even more improbable)
"At this point, he's married the man five times. John even made Rodney go through with the Ancient ceremony, although they did it in three hours instead of days because they're both busy men, they both hate meditating, and Rodney is hypoglycemic."

Sliding Scale
“John was about to reply that he thought Cate Blanchett was way hotter when it suddenly struck him: for two guys who were enthusiastically balling each other every night (and after lunch, when convenient) they certainly spent a lot of time talking about women.”

Something More
"He's only a few feet away when he stops, and the speeches are gone. John cocks his head, then pulls off the sunglasses, and it's like the last time they spoke, the first, or anywhere in between. No one does ironic distance like John Sheppard."

The Spaces in Between
"It's sort of funny, really, when he stops to think about it, that he likes McKay for his silences."

Static Interference
"It is, John reflects, probably the least Rodney's ever said in John's quarters, and ironically, the most attention John has ever paid to the few words that do escape, little hungry words like 'yes', 'harder', 'fuck', and 'John'."

Stockholm Syndrome
“You left!” Rodney shouts, and he’s well aware that his voice is segueing into hysterical, but he doesn’t care. He’s waited a year to have his say, they just left him there without a word, without so much as goodbye, and this might be the last chance he ever has. “You left me here, all of you, and you never came back for me. You never came back, and you never said why, and did you really expect me to act as if nothing was wrong?”

Take a Chance On Me
"Huh, said Rodney’s brain, but before he could contribute to the conversation, the ball lit up like it was getting ready for the reunion of the Village People, and the room dissolved into sparkles of light."

Those Three Words
"It was only three little words. Eight letters. John was going to kick their alphabetical asses, and then he and Rodney were going to have sex or whatever it was people did after life-altering avowals."

Three Gifts Rodney Wants To Give To His Team & That Keeps On Giving
"A warship will make John bounce on his toes excitedly, maybe even dance around the gate room in glee, but Rodney has the suspicion that it will take a lot more than one warship (or even a fleet, once they know how to do it) to make John Sheppard happy."

Tomorrow, When the World is Free
"Sheppard is still looking at him quizzically, detached, as if he’s too laid back to get involved. Rodney is absolutely sure that he’s taking a swing at Sheppard until his hands are on Sheppard’s neck, pulling him in, until he feels John’s mouth opening beneath his, warm and wet and surprised."

A Truth For a Truth
"John angles his hand until the tip of his fingers go over and touch the soft skin of Rodney's neck, then he stops, heart hammering. He glances towards the Marines and sees that they are totally oblivious of the fact there is surprise touching on his part (John suspects there's a briefing to new personnel detailing the sanctity of his personal space, and he's pretty sure it's given by Lorne)."

Two Bells
"John wants to reach out for Rodney in return, but maybe John's reading this wrong. Maybe Rodney touches everything like this, like he wants to unwrap it and see what's inside. Maybe he sees John as just another piece of malfunctioning technology."

Upside-Down
"How could they?" Rodney says. "This is new. I didn't even know until you kissed me last week. I caught on quickly, of course, but I had no idea that you, that I -- I didn't -- I didn't know. How could I not know?"

Weddings, Plural, and a Yak
"By the eighth time John Sheppard married Rodney McKay, they were old pros at the wedding thing, having weathered not only an Ouishan blood wedding, but also a twelve-hour Avalonian handfasting, a Malanese necklace-exchange, and a Thurtu joining ceremony that invoked a fire-god and featured seven kinds of cake."

What I Write Is Irrelevant
"Ronon didn’t linger. But as the corridors reverberated with the sound of his running, he couldn’t shake the image of Sheppard’s open face, his gun forgotten on the ground."

When In Rome
"The thing about Italian," he says, and Rodney thinks for a second that maybe John has misunderstood, "is that it's hard to be practical in Italian. It's hard to be cautious. When you say something in Italian, you say it with your whole body. You put it out there and you mean it. So try it again, Rodney. But mean it."

With Intent
"The look on Rodney's face says that he knows exactly what's going on in John's head. It's an unlikely tangle of amusement and fondness and improbable patience overlying something darker that John can't exactly quantify."

Worth It
"Not that John will even get to kiss Rodney for real, because as far as he tell, Rodney is both incredibly straight and incredibly obsessed with Sam Carter."

Quarks, Quantum Chromodynamics and Other Unproven Theories
"Blah blah blah, timeline contamination." Rodney sighed tiredly, closing his eyes and tilting his head back against the wall. "Blah blah blah temporal paradox, blah blah blah the end of the universe as we know it." His eyes peeked open. "Did you follow all that or were the words too big?"

THE VEGAS FICS
Escape Velocity
"Vegas was never going to be his salvation - it's his penance."

where we are in the universe
"The apartment is pretty shitty - McKay's shiny watch probably cost more than all the furniture in it put together - but McKay's reaction is disproportionate. Like the fact that John lives here is some kind of major tragedy, blah blah destiny, blah blah."

THE AUs
Academic
"How Rodney went from yelling, "What! What? Who the hell would I cheat on him with? Everybody's less hot than he is!" and terrifying all the passers-by in the hall to being crammed into a closet with Cadman on the fifth floor of Cloud Hall discussing his man-wife, Rodney would never know."
University Lecturers AU

Beauty
"John says 10,000 years casually, like it isn't an unfathomably long time to fight a war, and Rodney can't even imagine it, taking that much time for granted."
Alterran AU

Biggest Ever Sky
"Rodney doesn’t believe in magic, but they all seem to glow with it tonight; the same force which makes the acrobats fly, which tames Ronon’s beasts, which can bring forth rain when Teyla wills it so. Fire is nothing but a trick of the eye, and Rodney’s chest aches with what it shows him."
Circus AU

Black Helicopter's at Dawn
"Major?" Rodney sneered. "Congratulations on the promotion. Your obituary lists you as Captain."
Air Force/Alien Hunter AU (+ there are a bunch of sequels)

Boys Gone Wild (The Roadtrip Remix)
"Maybe John did give him clues. He just wasn't astute enough to read them."
University AU

Complemetary Colours
"Rodney looked at the drawing in front of him. If John saw it, he'd know. Everything was right there on the page. But Rodney figured that John had the right to see it, even if was enough to send him running - even if he decided he couldn't work with Rodney any more, couldn't be the focus of that."
Painter AU

Converging
"The scars," McKay whispered into the darkness. "I lied. They're not from a car accident."
Lifeguard/SGC Scientist AU

The Ethical Life
"If Rodney is clockwork, then John is an atomic bomb; all Rodney will ever do is tick away forever just the way he's supposed to, while John could level his entire world without any fuss at all."
Bletchley Park AU

Everything But Love
“John Sheppard? That name has been in the reservation book for like two years now. It’s crazy. Who makes a reservation two years in advance? We figured it had to be something good.” She grabbed two menus. “This way. We set up the best table for you, beside the fireplace, in the coziest corner.”
The Lake House AU

Except For a Few Small Bruises
"Rodney was the worst-case scenario in almost every way. He knew John better than anyone, and it had happened without John even really realizing the full extent of it. Getting involved with someone like that was so stupid that even John knew he should stay away."
University AU

Fade to Black
""John, what did you do?" Rodney pleaded. He was sweating suddenly, and it felt as if all the blood had run out of his face."
Hallowe'en AU to Black Helicopters at Dawn

Fair Trade
"That night, as if John's hip were weighing in on the argument, he had to stop midway up the hill when a flash of pain almost made him fall over. He stood next to his bike until the worst of it passed, and then slowly limped the rest of the way up."
Coffee Shop AU

Ghost Writer
"I'm dead, I'm stuck, in some kind of limbo, in a place I never wanted to be, and I really don't see how knowing how I died could be any kind of improvement!"
Writer/Ghost AU

The Hard Prayer
“John blinks, slowly trying to parse that. It takes him a second to figure out why it's so much harder than it should be, until he remembers how long it's been since he's had to understand and respond to human speech.”
Post-Apocalyptic AU

Hegira
“What made you do it? What made you give up any chance you had at a normal life for me?” John asked.
NID AU

High Stakes
"Rodney McKay. Do I get your name, or would that obliterate the baffling veil of mystery you shroud yourself in?"
Discworld AU

Idol
“Sometimes I disgust myself,” Rodney admitted. He sounded mournful. “A sense of shame: it’s my one major failing as an agent.”
Actor/Agent AU

John Sheppard's Guide to Surviving Project Runway
"And at least you're talented," Rodney says, chewing as though he's on speed (a real possibility, John decides). "Unlike Todd. Did you see that gothic monstrosity he's creating? God. He has to be from Baltimore."
Project Runway AU

Karate John and Uncle Rodney
"The next week he was still surprised at McKay’s appearance, but the week after that he wasn’t so much. He even waved, which caused a ripple of flirtatious looks and soft tittering among the mothers. It took a moment for McKay to realize John was waving at him, and when he did he started, before hesitantly half-waving back."
Karate Instructor/Lawyer AU

Lamps and Stuff
"John quietly watched his master fall for him and didn't do anything about it. Because it wasn't his place or decision (it was). Because he couldn't make people fall out of love (he could). Because Discovery Channel had just started a weekly show about ancient Egypt (he'd been there)."
Genie/Scientist AU

Location, Location, Location
"John poured two mugs, and handed one over; he watched as the guy stuck his nose into the mug and inhaled deeply. The tiny stress lines on his forehead smoothed out and he gave an oddly endearing smile."
Realtor/University Professor AU

My Name is John Sheppard: I'm a Mathmetician
"Look, Rodney, I was recruited to Mathnet out of high school, okay? It's all I've ever known. And I've tried to make it work, I really have, and I try to be earnest and helpful and help kids and animals and all, just like the manual says, but I'm not," John looks up at Rodney suddenly, "I'm not very good at it, okay? So I'm sorry."
Mathnet AU

No Puns, Please
“John spends most of his time surrounded by sheep, okay? If a reasonably attractive human tries to kiss him, he’s likely to go for it, and Rodney is sort of bizarrely endearing so John thinks, okay, and kisses him back.”
Shepherd/Sheep Rustler AU

Not Exactly Rocket Science
"John lifts his head and points at Rodney. "Yes. There you go. Sex interests everyone. Write me something about sex. Just don't use the word fuck, okay, and I'll print anything." He puts his head back down. "Now go away. I have to study.""
University Newspaper AU

Phi
"Rodney wants very badly to gloat, finally, finally something other than the nonchalance that's been famed in magazine articles for the last decade, something other than Sheppard's endless laziness and thank Christ someone in this stupid place is as pissed as he is."
Model/Journalist AU

A Place on the Corner
"John wants to accept and shrug it off. He wants to tell Rodney to hang on and he'll open the door; he wants to invite him up to the loft. He wants to let him see the scars on John's chest, wants to ask him to stay."
Bakery AU (+ there's a sequel or four)

The Roads Never Lead Where They're Supposed to Go
"They took off for the transporter, Sheppard muttering, "Run away, run away, run away," under his breath the entire time. Behind them, the dinosaur shrieked. Blank, white panic filled Rodney's mind, drowning out any other conscious thought."
Botanist/Astrophysicist AU

Santa in a Stetson
“The point is you obviously have a self-destructive streak, what with your gambling habits, and very little respect for your health, with your driving habits, and you don’t seem to be very happy at all.”
ex-Air Force/SGC Scientist AU

Sleepless
“So.” John’s voice had an edge of something else, now, some emotion that wasn’t so easy to read as his usual repertoire of ‘lazily amused’ or ‘lazily annoyed’. Or angry, of course, but he chose to discount that one; he had no desire to gain familiarity with it. “So I can’t stop thinking about them. About - about you.”
Sleepless in Seattle AU

Small Primes and Square Roots
"Then he smiled, and it was *Sara's* smile, the way she'd tried to smile when she'd broken her arm falling out of a tree last summer, and Rodney had been freaking out on the drive to the hospital. Just alike, right down to the sad angle of his eyes."
Air Force Major/SGC Scientist AU

Strangers on a Six Train
"He’d waited a week for John to start showing up in the morning again. When that didn’t happen, Rodney started taking the bus (the subway made him sad) and skipping his coffee (because coffee made him sad too). For days he was late to work, tired, and ready to snap."
College Professor/Yoga Instructor AU

A Supermarket in California
"You," he’s practically foaming at the mouth, hands moving in frenetic circles. "You can’t honestly – you’re not human. That must be it, you’re a robot. You are a robot programmed to run a convenience store and identify prime numbers."
Store Owner/University Professor AU

Taking the B Train
"Not a hallucination in the sense that I'm not a figment of your drunken imagination," the man said. "I am however not really here. I'm more of a projection that's in your bedroom, and you're the only one that can see me."
ex-Air Force/Scientist AU

Till It Shines
"McKay lifts his eyes, and they're surprisingly vulnerable, like they were that time in the parking lot, wide and shining and worried. "Hey, I'm trying to apologize here.""
Writer AU

Tongues of Men and Angels
"John looked at McKay while he ate, trying to picture the alien snaked curled around his spinal cord, the one that could control his body like a puppet. McKay had been doing all the talking, all the touching, but any minute he could be gone, and alien could be looking out of his face."
Air Force/Tok'ra AU

The Twenty Year Thaw
"John was laughing too. This was insane. He was a former world class athlete with an excellent sense of balance and lately he'd been falling over his own feet like a drunk on thin ice. Damn John Sheppard anyway."
Professional Skiiers AU

Unconventional Heroism
"Still chasing a story, Sheppard? To my hospital room? Isn't that kind of desperate? Or were you that worried that I'd die before you got the chance to pick my brain for whatever witty, satirical paper you're planning to write about my work?"
Journalist/Iron Man AU

Unidentified
"Taking a deep breath, he knots a hand in his hair, then lets it fall back down to his side. He’s so tired of carrying these things around, these truths he didn’t ask for, these secrets he doesn’t want to keep, and it just keeps happening."
Amnesia AU

Wide Open Sea
"He went home with two slices of leftover pizza and the strange impression that McKay could almost have been a nice guy, if he hadn’t been an asshole."
Marine biologist AU

THE CROSSOVERS
Dæmonology
"He feels a jolt, like a shock of electricity. Some protocol exists for a reason, he thinks, more terrified now than when he first saw that these people had no dæmons, than when he was standing outside that hut... But John--John needs her, needs him, and that's something for which it's worth breaking all the rules."
SGA/His Dark Materials Crossover

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points
"But instead, Rodney seemed strangely unconcerned, as if John's stupid, stupid feelings were a minor prize on the path to the Nobel, proof that he could get someone to fall in love with him, even if it was not the person he wanted."
SGA/A Wrinkle in Time Crossover

Summer House & Shore Leave & Sabbatical
"Three days later, Jack got a call from John saying that if he saw an unidentified but totally cool object zipping around the skies of Eureka, not to bother trying to tackle it since it was just John and his insanely awesome new helicopter."
SGA/Eureka Crossover

THE PORN
Fix
"It was astonishing. It was maddening. Rodney was doing this for him, to him, and Rodney was making a soft little gasp at the end of every stroke."

In Other Words
"I love you like this." Rodney's voice was quiet, almost reverent, and John shivered as goosebumps broke out all over his skin. "Still loose and wet and slick with my cum. All ready for me to slip back inside and fuck you 'til you scream."
A Lorentzian Slip of the Tongue
"That's so hot," Rodney says, fingers twisting in John's hair. "You're still in your uniform. It's like porn."

The One Where Everyone's Invisible
"He arches his spine, pushes his ass back against the fingers, three of them now, tries to get them deeper. The fingers rock in and out of him, stretching him open, and John feels stretched open in a way he hasn't ever felt before: free, pinned down and untouchable, lost in the sweet, rough sensation of being breached, being taken."

Performing Arts
"Their rooms in Atlantis don't have mirrors, so he's never seen this. Never seen the way Rodney looks curved over him, his wide shoulders, the arch of his spine, the back of his powerful thighs. And then there's the way John looks spread out beneath him."

Unsuffer Me
"John was alternately shoving himself against the bed and back into the heavy drag of Rodney's cock and didn't even notice when Rodney somehow worked a hand beneath him, flat between John's cock and the bed, just pressing him against his own belly, until Rodney said, "I want to feel it when you come, I want to feel it around my cock," in a cracked and frantic voice that shot straight to John's balls."

The Third Time Rodney McKay Surprised the Hell Out of John Sheppard
"So what is this? Space-madness?" Rodney gasped, finally making a longing little moan when John flipped open the buttons on his fly.

Seven Days
"John bends back, back, the long length of his spine arching and falling so that he's lying against Rodney's legs, clutching his own ankles to keep himself in place, and from this angle, all Rodney can see is the pure curve of him, settled at an angle that's so deep, so good, that Rodney's eyes are already rolling back in his head."

A Slow Exploration
"John's hands are shaking as he cups the back of Rodney's knees and lifts his legs. Rodney helps, using John's shoulders to rest his calves on. The sight of Rodney, open and waiting, makes John a little crazy. He presses forward, gritting his teeth as the head of his cock breaches the tight ring of muscle."

Very Important Stuff
"When Rodney came, it was with one John's mouth on his cock, the other John's mouth on his, and his John's cock in his hand."